by Megan Wolak

Congratulations, you and this week’s “soul mate” have matched! Chat now or forever hold your peace.

That’s right, we’re talking online dating. Along with Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, I can almost guarantee you’ve downloaded a dating app at least once in your life. Am I right or am I right?

Some of us do it for a laugh, some do it to find the one, and some use it to find the one for the night. Why wouldn’t we use an app to meet people anyway, right? We’re on our phones 25/8, so it makes sense to meet people through a screen.

Now that you’ve finally got a match, what’s next? A cheeky pickup line of course! A personal favourite of mine is the use of a .gif. You can almost guarantee a reply with one, even cringer. I’ve found a few memorable pickup lines to get you going for your next encounter:

  1. Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
  2. Your dad must be a drug dealer, cause you’re dope
  3. You look like trash, can I take you out?
  4. Do you like soda? ‘Cause I’d mount-and-do you.

Next step: date ideas. Meeting someone for the first time can be hella daunting. Unless you’ve been Facebook stalking, Instagram hunting or Snap-chatting since the moment you matched, then you might be okay. Careful, they may not actually have the ears and tongue of a dog. Best tip? Do something involving an activity. That way you have something to talk about. If you’re only there for the one-night thing, well, take a shot or two of confidence and go for gold, my friend!

You’re 15 minutes into the date and conversation topics are dwindling. No fear! Throw some of these topics into the mix:

  • kumara or potato fries
  • pineapple on pizza: yes or no
  • boxers, briefs or commando
  • gorilla or Brazilian

It’s the end of the date. You’re either going home together or alone. Together? I shouldn’t need to help anymore in this department. If it didn’t go so well, you’ll most likely be swiping for the next one on the Uber ride home. Remember to be courteous. If none of the pickup lines or topics supplied worked for you or your date, flick them a message and let them know it’s not going any further. No one likes to be left hanging.

Good luck with your dating venture!

Disclaimer: The writer cannot be held accountable for the outcome of the date, but wishes you well.